


Control

by kidcarma



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Eating Disorders, Jabberwock Island (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, hajime centric, other characters are mentioned but only briefly so i didn’t wanna tag them all, ship is brief/implied, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kidcarma/pseuds/kidcarma
Summary: Hinata likes control.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 3
Kudos: 146





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> vent time hell yeah babey. we projecting on poor hinata again. mind the tags. particularly the eating disorder one. thank u

Hinata likes control. 

It’s moreso now than it was before, because now he’s got the part of his brain which can calculate the most likely outcomes in every situation. This way he can pick which will yield the most favorable result. For everyone. 

He has to sit and grit his teeth and fold his hands in his lap and bear it when someone starts to do something he _knows_ he's capable of completing more efficiently. Better. 

Whether it be when Hanamura leaves the kitchen timer on for five minutes when Hinata knows the food would benefit from cooking for four minutes and thirty seconds instead. When Souda’s tinkering with wires and metal bits and Hinata has to physically bite down on his own tongue hard enough he bleeds not to call him out as he almost accidentally short circuits the whole thing because he’s distracted. When Mioda’s working on her new song and she can’t make the chord progression sound just right but if she would only go a half step up-

No harm no foul. They’re ultimates. They’re not perfect. They’re good at what they do and sometimes they’ll listen to him when it really matters, when it’s something they’re not suited to by default, when he says a string of needlessly complicated words and a switch goes off in their minds and they remember his brain is basically a super computer. But those times are few and far between because on the outside, he’s still Hajime Hinata. As long as they don’t cause harm in their minor mistakes, he knows to keep his mouth shut. 

But that still doesn’t stop him from _wanting_ to take over. 

Hinata likes control. So he gets it where he can. 

Hunger is a feeling. An unpleasant one, maybe. But a feeling nonetheless. A feeling he can control, which is addictive, because those are rare nowadays. Feeling something is better than nothing, with as much as he gets bored. It’s a fight. Not to be bored. 

He’s smart. In a way that maybe lets him recognize what he’s doing is wrong but. More in a messed up way. More in a way that fuels him. Lets him get away with it. Knows just how long he can afford to go without that won’t make him lose the muscle mass that he needs, or send him into total organ failure, at the very least. His body is efficient like that. His mind is broken like that. 

Because Komaeda is the one that blacks out when he stands up too fast. Komaeda is the one that blushes and stammers to apologize for the way his ribs stick out when Hinata’s hands are on his chest, pushing his shirt up. Komaeda is the picky one. Komaeda pushes his food around on his plate because he’s _sick._ Not Hinata. Hinata’s not sick. 

Maybe a little. 

But that’s not so bad. 

Everyone on the island is, in their own way. Collectively a patchwork quilt, full of rips and stitches where they’re torn at the seams. Some more than others, perhaps, but that’s not the sort of thing you compare. 

So it’s alright, Hinata rationalizes. It’s alright when he has to skip dinner because Tsumiki’s started spiraling again, locked herself up in the pharmacy screaming. It’s alright when Komaeda doesn’t notice Hinata has forced him to down a few bites for lunch to take with his pills and that’s more than Hinata has eaten today. It’s alright when Saionji picks at her bag of gummy bears and Hinata will chew on the few of them she offers out in her hand between them as a peace offering as she talks and talks and then cries and cries and cries, even if the sugar hurts his stomach. It’s alright when he helps Tanaka on the farm and looks into the eyes of the chickens and the cows that Tanaka loves so much and he decides that he’s going to avoid meat for at least a week otherwise it will make him feel guilty. It’s alright when he offers what would be his first serving to be Imposter’s third helping, because if it makes them happy, that’s alright. It’s alright if they don’t notice something’s amiss with him, because they’ve all got their own things going on. 

It’s alright if he’s a little sick. So long as he can take care of the others, be there when they need him.

That’s alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> don’t worry fellas after i published this i had a snack. chewing on my protein bar rn folks


End file.
